Tiny Screwdrivers are Stupid

Photo on 7-28-13 at 7.33 AM

No new apartment is complete without at least one trip it Ikea.  I’m not the most handy girl, but I’ve watched more than my share of This Old House and the New Yankee Workshop (thanks Dad) so I figured that assemble at home furniture would be a snap.  Ikea has directions that come in tiny books with many little figures either smiling or frowning or with Xs through them as they march around the pages putting the small screw (No, not the large screw yet!) into the long board like a very pragmatic, wordless comic book.

The bed was starting to resemble a bed-like structure, with a headboard and a footboard and two side panels all securely in place, and I began gloating about my assembly skills.  That is when we reached for the midbeam and realized that an error had been made.  I say ‘an error had been made’ in the same way that politicians acknowledge that ‘mistakes were made’ or children admit that ‘someone spilled something’ on the white carpet … meaning, I did it.  In my excitement and haste to put together the many tiny boards that somehow constitute a sturdy headboard, I had put one piece (the most critical piece) in backwards.

As anyone knows putting together one of those assemble-at-home pieces of furniture is like the furnishings equivalent to that old children’s song … the headboard is connected to the support board, the support board is connected to the footboard… So when one piece is wrong, all the pieces are wrong.

My husband didn’t say a thing, just shook his head, and picked up the tiny bent metal that is supposed to function as a screwdriver and began un-fastening the top pieces.  He must really love me.


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